yard sale???

i know that there is a purpose for grass but i dont like it. i have to mow it. i have 4 acres, plenty of grass. here is a story to make you hate grass.

recently someone borrowed my lawn mower. i had no problem with that. its been 6 weeks and now its time to cut the grass right? well i cant get in touch with my friend that has my lawn mower. no big deal, but my grass still needs to be cut. so i decide to hire a neighbor. he didnt do it. his lawn mower broke. no problem, i called a lawn service. they didnt show up. ok im getting nervous. i call another service. they didnt show up. ok whats going on. is it me? is there a reason nobody wants to cut my grass? am i on some blacklist that i wasnt aware of? i get someone else out to my place to cut it. they say "we will come back later and cut it". i said "yeah right". they came back 2 hours later and cut it. the 5th person involved finally cut my grass. what an ordeal. its not supposed to be that complicated. i called someone today to come and kill my grass.. someone suggested i have a yard sale. never knew why someone would sale their yard. now i get it. wait...